How did you survive/learn to thrive at a PWI?
I love that question. Mainly because it happens in stages. Most times in life, we never get to the point where we are learning how to thrive. Sometimes, survival is all that we know. Learning to thrive takes a different level of discipline. On my journey, I realized that I had to learn a lot more about myself. I had to ask myself constantly, who am I and why am I here? The simple answer was that I was there to receive my Masters degree in Social Work. I was in a completely new environment. I went from living in Baltimore City, MD (hometown), to living in Manhattan, NY. Being an advanced standing student, we had a strict 10-month schedule. For a period of those ten months, I found myself scrambling to survive. I didn’t learn how to thrive until I found solace in being alone, learning to how balance myself, and standing on my morals. Going to a PWI as a black man is challenging. I was one of a whopping two black men in my cohort. Thriving came when I learned how to be confident in myself and my attributes no matter who surrounded me.
•How did you find your community?
I still wonder how I was blessed enough to find my community. This answer to this question also starts with finding yourself. I had to open my mind to completely new things. For perspective, I am from a predominately black city. In addition, I attended Morgan State University, a historically black college or university. So now I am walking the streets of Manhattan, and I might be able to count on both hands how many black people that I see.
It is truly chilling when you step outside of yourself and what you know as normal. My community found me. This community consisted of some of the greatest women I’ve ever met. I hate to use the cliché term “from all different walks of life”, but it truly describes my tribe. This happened by having countless talks, bonding events, arguments, and learning moments. We were all trying to achieve the same goal…graduation.
•What resources helped you navigate systems?
There were plenty of resources that helped me navigate life at my PWI. Honestly, it started at the peer level. Group chats literally are lifelines. There is no limit on what people will ask and/or share. You often find that there is 10 other people with the same thought or question that you have. There is always something that you can learn from someone. We truly deprive ourselves from useful information when we only seek it from people who we assume are “qualified”.
Next, I’ve probably had a one on one conversation with every staff member that I’ve come across in the School of Social Work. From the people at the front desk, to the field office, professors, advisors, librarians, and security guards. People are literally waiting to give you game. You can literally unlock so much by asking questions and having conversations.
•Were you ever able to challenge the white dominant culture? (Example: challenging a professor or classmate)
Many times. There is a serious sense of entitlement in white dominant culture. It pains me that many minority cultures did not have the privilege of learning this skill. It is not something that I thought of as a “skill” at first. However, it must truly be liberating to walk around and feel as if you are owed something.
My experiences were unique because whether it was at school or work, I was most likely the only man or one of. There were many times where I had to push back from being the person to “represent or speak for” all men, or all black men even. It is truly daunting when people totally disregard intersectionality. You can’t separate one part of my identity and expect me to speak on the behalf of that entire community.
With classmates (mainly white), the challenge was getting them to not take things so personal. That was something that I had to learn as well. When I am in a room full of women, I can’t take every acknowledgement of male privilege personal. There are some things that I do that may be wrong and there are things that I don’t know that I benefit from. It is up to me to look beyond my ego and pride. The same advice can be applied to white people who may not truly understand the plight of black and brown people. Sometimes people just need to act like they have some sense. I’m not asking you to change the world, nor am I asking you to be this “white savior”. Lastly, try not to appoint yourself as an “ally”. Even if you are doing the “work”, let those efforts speak for you. There are some things that only others can validate. Imagine if I walked into a room and said “I am very funny”. How self-centered does that sound? Also, who said that you were funny?!
•What advice would you offer students entering a PWI now?
For students entering a PWI, it is imperative that you get to know yourself. You need to know what you stand on and stand for. That environment is harsh. You will easily find yourself trying to appease others in an effort to fit in if you are not comfortable with who you are. Find your community, your self-care practices that work best, and your reason. Once you “find your why”, things will become much easier. Remember that it is a marathon. For that black person with imposter syndrome…you belong there, they need you.
•Any stories, experiences or anecdotes from your time?
I had just recently graduated from Morgan State University. On a random day, I drove to Columbia University. I really needed help with the registration and financial aid part of enrollment. Instead of playing the phone and email game, why not go see my new school in-person? After a 3+ hour drive, I walked what would be my new campus. Button up shirt. Jeans. Tennis. It’s a feeling that I can hardly put into words. There were no overt acts of disrespect or racism. However, the eyes were piercing, and greetings were very cold. I decided to take a picture at the Alma Mater statue for my mom. Sidenote: It is truly nerve-wracking to have to ask a stranger to take your picture. Before taking the picture, I pulled my new Columbia University hoodie out of my bookbag. Man…my experience was much different pre hoodie versus post hoodie. Greetings became much warmer, people congratulated me on being a new student, and the campus became oddly helpful. All of this may be in my head, but the lesson that I learned from my experience was that I was “safe” now. “Oh, he goes here”. Never let these things that we consider to be “accomplishments” get to you. It is a part of you, but it does not make you. That goes for the school that you attend, the job that you have, and the people that you may know. When I’m outside, people don’t see Robert Massenburg with three degrees (Associates, Bachelors, & Masters). I am a black man.
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